#363: Replete With Tree & Garden Gnome

Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

In keeping with the holiday season, I thought I'd post another cheery neighborhood wreath pic. The harsh winter light on a sunny January afternoon makes a walk through Carroll Gardens all the more beautiful, one of many reasons I have no problem bragging about this neighborhood I almost live in. (This "almost live in" has nothing to do with me being nomadic. Technically, I'm on the border of about three neighborhoods, so it always feels disingenuous to lay claim to only one.)

You know who else has no problem bragging about this neighborhood? Realtors! And just because I'm curious, I sometimes do a quick scan online of some of the buildings I pass by to see if I can learn anything about the apartments whose souls I ignominiously snatch with my camera.

Because I can't afford to do anything with a Brooklyn apartment apart from, say, replacing my mailbox key, I sometimes get caught up with other aspects of real estate, like marveling at the hyperbolic writing and strange verbal contortions found on realtor's websites. Call me a simpleton, but I liked this building from a quick gander at the cool red door and brickwork, but did you know that this place boasts "a rec room large enough to house a california king"? Or that there's an "intimate front yard, replete with tree and garden gnome"?

Now whether you think "intimate" is the adjective you want duct-taped to your "yard" is a personal matter. But imagine my sadness when I learned that this co-op with its "most valued vestage of American Living: YOUR OWN HUGE GARAGE" was already sold, thereby banishing me to the cruel sidewalks once again. Oh Brooklyn I love you, but you're bringing me down.